Shrink Wrap

     Just about six years ago the last week of July in 2008 “Caring For Cynthia” arrived in 

Tucson.   

     I stood in my driveway with the mid summers day sun at my back watching as the delivery 

truck parked in front of my home.   As the truck’s door opened, there it was - 5,000 books 

shipped from a coastal village not far from Shanghai. 

     In front of me was the culmination of creativity and collaboration from selecting font styles, 

colors, collateral print pieces to phone calls and meetings with editors, coaches, consultants, 

digital artists (to mention a few) shrink wrapped and resting on wooden palates. 

Tucson, Arizona July 2008

     The meetings and phone calls with consultants were easy.  Selecting colors and type 

fonts was easy, too.  What could not have been shrink wrapped were my emotions.   That 

day my emotions were joy, excitement and elatedness.  These days, what I’m learning, is 

that emotions come in a variety of colors and flavors and can range anywhere from 

somewhat easy to somewhat challenging to walk through – even six years later.   The 

physical and emotional response from having personally documented a year of  “cancer 

related activities” is impossible to shrink and wrap.

     Emotions related to a loved one’s diagnosis of cancer - surviving cancer- being 

diagnosed again - having that second diagnosis associated with metastasis to various 

organs and thus leading to eventual death - take time to surface and evolve.  The timing of 

these emotions surfacing and evolving and then the time to respond to those emotions is 

different for everyone.  

     What we, as cancer caregivers, do in our response to emotions that surface now, in six 

months or in six years will mold us, give us insight and help us to help ourselves.  Our 

responses to our emotions can impede and challenge us.  Alternatively our responses can

inspire and motivate us in ways we never imagined. 

     For cancer caregivers experiencing emotions during or after a journey with a loved 

one’s cancer – don’t attempt to shrink and wrap your emotions.  Instead, consider giving 

emotions room to surface, grow and evolve.   Ignoring, rushing or hurrying through those 

precious emotional experiences can actually impede our healing.  

     Consider reviewing www.cancer.net as leading resource for both those affected by cancer 

and caregivers:  http://www.cancer.net/coping-and-emotions/managing-emotions

  

Blooming Cherry Blossoms

The month of May is an anniversary, of sorts, for me.  It’s the month I reflect, remember, memorialize and celebrate the life of my dear friend, Cynthia.  It’s has been three years since Cynthia’s death - May 9, 2011. 

I’ve been reflecting and remembering and in doing so I thought I’d blog about all the memorializing I’ve been doing yet I couldn’t put the words to paper or the fingers to the keyboard and have my thoughts make sense - until today. 

Just a few weeks ago, around the weekend of May 9^th, I was driving in my hometown.  I hadn’t visited Pittsburgh during a spring bloom in many years.  So, it’s not surprising I had forgotten how the beautiful blooms color the neighborhoods.  I was in awe of the abundance of cherry blossoms and dogwood trees.  The pink, dark pink and white flowers were spectacular.  

My mom and husband pulled the car off the road so I could make imagery of what I saw as we drove past the park.   In the park I was struck by the beauty that once surrounded me when I was younger.  Beauty that I know I took for granted as a child/young woman.  I experienced such a powerful rush of emotions being so close to the lush colors of greens and pinks along the river. 

This image is what I saw that day.  For me, it represents the journey from shock, disbelief, sadness, loss, anger and confusion (to mention a few) to that of personal growth, exploration and great curiosity in answering one of life’s great questions – “What Is Next?”  What IS next now that it’s been three years.  

Just to the right of the cherry blossoms is a path.  If I were to follow the path, it would take me into the green trees and into something quite unknown -  something I won't take for granted and someplace where "lush" and "awe" awaits!

Blooming Cherry Blossoms